new website

Well, it looks like blogspot will be blocked in China unless I get new software. Because I'm pretty low-tech, I decided to go w/a different site that I can use while in China. The link is below.

http://www.babyjellybeans.com/web/do/site?ID=31050

Sorry for the last minute switch! Let me know if you can't access the new one.

Lizanne

Right side up...

New pix & attachment

Okay, I'm sure there's a way to turn these pictures around, but they were saved as Read Only, and I can't figure it out.

That said, here are the photos we received last week! I esp love the second one, where you can see her reflection. She seems so calm. A calm toddler? I love, too, that you get more of a sense of her face than the mug shot.

I'm going to post about attachment. As w/Josie, we're going to do attachment parenting. This means that only John or I (and sometimes Josie) will hold and care for Gemma YingLian during her first few months w/us. This includes feeding, changing, rocking, and all the other wonderful bonding activities that parents and children do.

We will be somewhat hermetic in our home at times. It is winter, of course, so that's not unnatural. But we're also going to avoid too much stimulation for Gemma YingLian and focus on becoming a family of four. We won't take her to places that are esp. loud or crowded or might be disorienting (WalMart...).

We're taking this approach because Gemma YingLian will not understand the idea of parents. She will be familiar w/caretakers who are interchangeable, who make sure she has what she needs then move on to other children. When we care for her initially, she may think we're her newest set of caretakers.

Families, though, are quite different than institutional caretakers, even the finest institutional caretakers. We'll be her forever family. It will take her a while to understand that. By being the people who consistently meet her needs, we will help her see what a family is.

I know that for some people, not being affectionate or offering treats to a cute little toddler is antithetical; we experienced this w/Josie, and sometimes had to back off for a bit bc our priority was Josie. One of the most important elements of our new family is to help Gemma YingLian to bond to us AS parents, as a sister.

As time goes on and our new daughter understands what parents are, we can be more open about letting others hold her or feed her.

The six-yr old next door has apparently been drilled on this topic by Josie, and she gives a great, abbreviated explanation.

We may get one more set of pix before we go.

Introducing Gemma YingLian

Got the call at work at 11:30 central time. Our new daughter is Gemma YingLian. Her Chinese name means "outstanding person" (Ying) "lotus flower (Lian). She is 2 yrs and 2 months old, born in July of 2008. This is the Year of the Rat--a year we know we like bc my dad is a Rat (meant nicely!). She 31" tall and 25 pounds.

Gemma YingLian is from Guangdong province. This means we will probably remain in Guangzhou for our two weeks. We'll travel in 5 - 8 weeks.

She's shy and introverted, likes picture books, games, and music, walks steadily and can climb stairs, and is a deep sleeper. The woman who called from CCAI kept telling me that the pix we'll get tomorrow (not the mug shot above but little photos) are very, very sweet.  

Josie was in the office w/me when the call came. At first, she was elated, crying "she's so sweet!" Then she just cried for her loss--no longer the only one. Now I've bribed her w/McDonalds and television (sad but true) so I can start making calls.

We are elated!!!!!!!!!

THE STORK IS FLYING

According to our very conservative, mum's-the-word agency, matches have been mailed. That means that, by week's end, we may have a picture and some background about our baby (aka a referral).

If I appear to be a complete basket case, I am! I don't know whether to remain stoic or burst into tears, and this is just while I walk across campus. I've done some of both today.

The process: our agency translates the file before calling us, meaning that referrals will arrive, and it will be at least 24 hours before we get THE CALL. They have been giving famlies a pre-call to let them know when to be ready. I have sheets for questions to ask when we get THE CALL posted at home and at work. My first instruction to self is "breathe."

I'm sort of stunned. After all this time, it's hard to imagine that there is actually a little person at the other end of this long wait.

More when we know it.

No referrals in September

If the blogosphere and the agencies are right (and it stands to reason they are), the CCAA will not send referrals in September. FYI--there are usually abt 32 days bw referrals, so once a month is the norm. The last set of referrals arrived on 16 August.

A CCAA delegation is visiting the US. It's unclear to me if anyone who signs off on referrals is in that group, but that's probably not relevant. September was skipped last year as well. November is the end of the fiscal yr in China, and the slow down probably relates to balancing records.

As is, it is now Mid-Autumn festival in China, a wonderful holiday that features mooncakes and perhaps a re-telling of the tale of the Lady in the Moon: Tale of the Lady Chang Er I've read that you can order mooncakes at Starbucks in China. They look delish.

All to say, we probably will not hear anything until 1 October or so. Huge sigh of disappointment.

Closer, closer

First, a celestial picture of Josie, taken & manipulated by Laura (I omit last names for privacy purposes).

This has been a strange week! Monday, some in the adoption community expected referrals. The CCAA (Chinese adoption central, that is) sent a delegation to the US, so it was assumed that referrals (for us) and travel approval (for those referred in August) would arrive.

Nope. In fact, Monday was devoid of rumors.

Now, I was not a fan of adoption rumors during the first couple yrs of this adoption. I checked on RumorQueen (now ChinaAdoptTalk) periodically.

For the last few weeks, though, I've been relieved to be able to retreat to the chatrooms full of others who understand that alternate universe AKA adoption from the PRC. It's a supportive group where you can "talk" endlessly abt frustration w/the process, ask questions, vent, etc.

In the end, the process is obviously worth it. In the meantime, though, it is as if a group of people were told to run a race. After runners reached the finish line, they were told to repeat the last lap. Again. Again. One more time w/feeling. Then the rules to the race were changed; some new hurdles were added. Then the judges all moved to a centralized location (okay, that last one doesn't work very well).

Given who John and I are, given who Josie is, we are confident that the match will be right for our family. We just wish it didn't take so long.

I think we'll hear something w/in a week. Or not. But it's looking more promising, sort of.