One giant leap for Franklinkind

Our home study arrived today! 

I emailed the SW to see what was up this a.m., and she said she thought we'd already have it. Taught, held office hours, went home, and there it was! I proofread and assembled papers, ready to mail it.

In line w/the process, I had forgotten a step: I needed John's sig. on the application. Got it. Mailed.

Got home and reviewed my checklist. Uh, forgot to send a copy of the original home study. Called the federal agency that handles this paperwork and asked if they could put a note in our file that info would arrive in two packages. No problem. Mailed the original home study.

And now, we wait. But this is HUGE. HUGE.  HUGE!

Now I can start getting excited about a baby. Hunh? A baby? I thought this was all about paper.

Fun, fun, fun

Over the last couple of days, I have had more fun than I can say. Insert old-fashioned sound of nails on chalkboard.

Here's a cute photo to offset the rest of the message (Josie at Rosenblatt field):

Sunday, I accosted my doctor at church to find out what had happened to the letter required for our files, the letter I had called about all week. Is this a mortal or venial sin to harass your doctor after mass? She was relaxed and pleasant--oh, I wrote that last week; check back first thing in the morning if there's a problem. Hmm, so why didn't the SW have it?

Sunday night, the SW said her home fax machine was broken. Sorry. We could email the letters instead.

Monday a.m., I called my doctor's office. They couldn't email the letter bc it wouldn't include the doctor's signature. No, of course not. I emailed the SW: I will pick up these letters in person and fax them to your agency.

Monday a.m., I also began my new/old job as a college English instructor. Spent the day running around--to the university, to doctors' offices, to Josie's school to eat lunch w/her class, to campus to fax doctors' letters. Teaching a morning and a night class bookended the day with an office hour in there somewhere.

John said he would drive to the social worker and her agency himself (150+ miles) to deliver the doctors letters if we couldn't get this settled.

Somewhere in there, the SW called me. Gosh, she didn't know what was going on, but her fax does work and it probably always did and she didn't know why her friend couldn't send her a fax so we should send everything to her. I said I would do as I'd said in my last email: fax the letters to her agency. I would also continue to fax to her home in case her machine did indeed work. And I would send physical copies by express mail or by my express service (John T Franklin) if that didn't work.


John's dr had the letter ready when I went by; mine couldn't find it (yes, I called first), but called me later, and I returned for it.


My fax to the SW's agency wouldn't go through. I called the agency. The fax number was wrong. I had included it in our emails when I told the SW I would fax her agency. Once I called the agency and had the correct numbers, the fax went through. Last night, SW also emailed that she had the faxes at home.


I don't know why that became so complicated, but it is almost over. Our agency proofreads; the SW and her supervisor sign it; it is sent to us where I have all materials assembled.


And then, hopefully, that nails-on-chalkboard sound takes a hike.

Bonus episode--no FB liner note

Scott Simon's story on adoption from China (twice), leading to an excerpt from his new book, Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129301982

Today--
* Josie started at a new school (loves it!)

* Had an email from the SW--no clearance for me yet; no doctors' letters for Josie or John

* Repeatedly called my dr. to fax a note that Josie is healthy to our SW (no answer; have called almost every day this week to request this)

* Called John's dr. and was told that he probably won't write the letter if John doesn't schedule an appt. Okay, I started asking for this letter almost two weeks ago. Why didn't this come up before?

* Called our agency to find out what exactly we're supposed to provide for this homestudy in terms of medical letters; learned that exams were probably what we needed (this is not what I was told, not what I've told our doctors) but there is a state-by-state requirement and they didn't know for ours. This time, the agency person sounded concerned that this is dragging on and told me to be persistent.

* Called John, who had followed up with his dr; the dr was not in the office, but responded to a call from his office and the fax was being sent today

* Called a SW agency to find out if I'm on the right track or not with these medical letters; left a msg for the SW a friend liked who does intl adoption.

* Called NBC, the centralized agency that handles all these forms, and talked to a very nice rep who told me we should probably have had exams and w/in the past six months, that our form would probably be returned to us if it didn't reflect this, but she didn't know our state regulations

* Realized all that convo w/John's dr.'s office might've been futile as he might have to go in for an exam ASAP

* Put an SOS msg on a state intl adoption list-serv to see if anyone knows what we're supposed to have in our medical letters

* Intermittantly worked on syllabus and first day class plans

* Received an email from SW that my KBI/FBI clearance came through: YES!!!

* Met John for lunch at 2

* Waited for Josie to get home; chatted with one of her old friends (since age 2!) and her mom from the 'hood

Long weekend ahead. Monday, school begins (new/old job for me), and I can't put as much time into this. I really need it in the mail and on its way.

When life throws tomatoes at you, make sauce

The tomatoes were not thrown, but kindly given to us by neighbors who garden. And I am making sauce. I'm even reading about sauce--Giulia Melucci's entertaining memoir of long-term singlehood, I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti.

But the freaking tomatoes just keep coming. If anyone says anything to me like "look at the larger picture" or "don't sweat the small stuff," I might have to throw something (though, as my brother will tell you, you're in no danger unless you're standing very, very close to me).

We called our respective doctors this a.m. to get their notes on the way. My dr had sent in my info, but I had to ask for Josie's in addition ("it's Monday, I doubt she'll get to it today," said a receptionist who sounded world-weary at 9:15); John's doctor hadn't gotten to his yet.

Then I called the check on our clearances: SRS child neglect & abuse registry; KBI/FBI fingerprints. The SRS person told me our clearances were sent out Friday; our SW later confirmed that she'd received them. The KBI person told me my prints had gone on to the FBI for further processing because they're bad.

Yes, somehow I knew this. I have flat whorls that don't show up nicely. What I don't understand is why I have been printed multiple times as an adoptive parent and as a teacher, come up with "bad" prints, and am thrown back for re-runs which yield about the same results. Same hands, same flat whorls. What do they expect me to do--sprout new prints? After years of this, I am truly fed up with how idiotic the whole fingerprinting process is. These are my fingers. This is all they yield.

When I said we don't have 2 - 4 weeks to wait for further processing, I asked the KBI person if I could speak w/her supervisor; she gave me the supervisor's number in case we were disconnected. Worth noting: I was not sarcastic or unpleasant and the KBI people were genuinely nice and efficient. The supervisor said she would ask about having my prints rushed, and our social worker's agency would know more later this week.

This shocked me. I couldn't believe I'd actually moved the process forward a little, esp at that level; I expected to hang up and burst into tears. Of course, it remains to be seen if anything gets sped up, but I'm hopeful right now. Another month would be a nightmare as far as getting everything done in time. Two weeks would be agony. Really, every day that the paperwork isn't sent in for processing is hard to take. We are so close but we still have to send this stuff in and see if it passes muster. Our home study has been returned before bc it was missing information or information wasn't worded properly. They don't just get it and stamp it nor are we the only family waiting in line.

On the upside, I've changed the referral info. Today, people w/LID dates up to 5/15 are getting calls. This is part of the reason I'm getting frantic. We're next!

Anniversary number 9, number 9

Monday morning, I called our agency to request instructions for finishing the home study information packet; typed, stamped, and drove letters to doctors' offices for our home study; mailed tax info to our social worker. At 11 a.m., we were finally on our way to Omaha.

And for five blessed days, I did not obsess about getting this paperwork finished in time (we've already missed the ideal deadline of 12 August).

Omaha is great! Who knew? In the picture on the left, John and I have just purchased our anniversary gift to ourselves, a beautiful bowl that I won't attempt to describe. Nine is pottery or leather, and we chose pottery.

The drive took six hours on the dot, including a lunch stop and a coffee/ice cream break. We checked into our hotel and headed to Rosenblatt Stadium, home of the Omaha Royals as well as the College World Series. Someone wore his Rice University National Championship shirt with great pride. This is the last season of games at that ballpark before a new one opens in 2011.

Josie did front flips in the bouncy castle, then it was on to eat dollar dogs and watch the Royals blow out the Tacoma Rainiers. I guess it's dated to think about attending a ballgame or movie where people entertain themselves before or between the action: constant stimulation! But, on the upside, the sound system wasn't obnoxiously loud, and the place was comfortable and family-friendly.

Josie really wants to sit in foul ball territory next time, not the primo seats behind home plate that John favors. He promised her we'll change up next time.

The next day, we went to the Henry Doorly Zoo, arriving before the gates opened. Again, big fun! John took pix with his Olympus 35 mm so I don't have digital shots to post. Josie has decided that she is too old for the carousel; she thoroughly enjoyed the SkyFari--a sky-lift style ride that carried she and John over cheetahs, giraffes, and monkeys. Josie loved the seals, John the desert dome, and me the little sprinklers systems everywhere that doused you. We stayed all day.

Wednesday was our anniversary. We headed downtown to the Hot Shops--96,000 sq feet of warehouses that contain a metal forge, a ceramics studio, glassblowing facitilies, etc. Our second destination was Old Market, a funky downtown zone w/cafes, shops, etc. (ball game = John; zoo = Josie; artsy stuff = Lizanne). 

At the Hot Shops, each artist we encountered explained the craft and demonstrated and/or answered questions. The potter (who was from Parsons, KS) showed Josie how he designs a pot as he throws it; one of the artists in the metalworking area gave Josie a small plaster figurine of J. Doe, a reproduction of the lifesize J. Doe statues that appear around Omaha with different decorations, like the cows in Kansas City. She can take it home and decorate it. Josie chose a small metal shell from that area, and John bought it for her.

We then went ISO a parking space near Old Market. A very helpful woman at Omaha Visitors Info Center directed us to free parking, and we continued our quest for an anniversary gift. Well, first, we ate lunch at a Persian restaurant called Ahmad's in Old Market, then found the Artists Cooperative. Looked in a couple other places, but we really liked this one bowl that I won't try to describe (again). 

It was incredibly hot & humid. We stopped for homemade ice cream at Ted & Wally's, and Josie learned how it is made from an employee as she stood in front of the churns (yes, it was a day for process).

For dinner, we ate at a local steakhouse called Jericho's rec-ed by the woman at the Visitors Center. Some businessmen came in saying "geez, they still make Naugahyde?" It did look very old school, a place that had probably seated people by smoking pref (heavy or light?) until recently, but the food... Even I, the former vegetarian, loved the steak--a 20 oz. T-bone for John and Josie, a petite filet mignon for me. We had mentioned that it was our anniversary dinner--if you've met John, you know that he shares a lot with complete strangers--and we were brought a vanilla ice cream drizzled with creme de menthe and a candle for dessert. Very yummy!

Thursday, we shopped. This was great for us but not that exciting to read. Family movie matinee--Ramona and Beezus (which we read  to Josie this year).  This day ended, as did most in Omaha, in the hotel pool.

I was sorry to leave today. It was a terrific vacation, and we would all like to return.

And then we arrived home to an email from the agency saying oh yes, we were supposed to include one other piece of information from the dr. in our home study that hadn't been mentioned earlier. ONE MORE PIECE OF INFORMATION? I really want this home study to be completed and mailed off before I lose it. Then, in a month or so, if our referral comes when expected, I can start appealing a nice Senator or Representative to push it through processing bc we're cutting it really close. Rumors have it that referrals will be here Monday for up to 15 or 16 May--very close!!

  

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

For starters, the good stuff is very good.

Friends Nancy & Sophie visited. It has been way too long! The girls are about five years apart, but ended up having a great time together while the moms talked about how amazing and stubborn (and amazingly stubborn) Sophie and Josie can be. After dinner and a walk to the ice cream place, the girls ran around the playground, having fun and doing gymnastics. Sophie actually is a gymnast, and a graceful one, while Josie is going to break an arm if she keeps throwing herself into handstands.

John had prepared a fabulous dinner--smoked pork & chicken, grilled burgers and dogs. He skipped the ice cream and playground but was ready w/a camera afterward.

It was wonderful to talk about lit and daughters with Nancy. I wish we could see them every summer!

More good: John, Josie and I went to a matinee of Lucky Duck in Kansas City a couple weeks ago at the Coterie. We all agreed it was the best play we've seen there yet--a musical re-make of The Ugly Duckling. The Coterie is a professional theater company that puts on children's plays at Crown Center in KC.

One more positive: our fingerprints have been approved by the feds in Wichita! We had two sets of fingerprints for this last stage (one federal; one KBI). Wichita was fun, but I'm happy we don't have to drive back.

The bad and the ugly.... I'll leave you to figure out which is which. As you may know, we delayed then cancelled our usual two week summer trip so we could stay here and finish adoption paperwork. This was a tough decision as we were all really looking forward to visits with family but we decided to instead take a five-day trip to a nearby destination, going at the same time as our social worker's family. I let our social worker know that we would be here to deal w/any details. During the last two weeks, I've checked in w/her on email to see how she was progressing.

At the end of July, our KBI fingerprints were mailed back to us because we'd sent a check in the wrong amount for the required prints; a law passed in 2009 required that we needed both KBI and FBI approval for this set and our SW was unaware of this when she instructed us. I re-submitted the prints with the correct amount. I asked the social worker (SW from here on out) if she could draft our homestudy and send it to our agency to proofread so it would all be ready when the clearances came through. She did so.

BTW, I LOVE CCAI. The child match specialist promptly made recommendations. The SW contacted me with a couple more questions following the suggestions from the child match specialist.

Then, Friday afternoon around 4, I got an email saying sorry she'd forgotten, but the SW needed us to get letters from our doctors saying we're in good shape and a copy of our latest tax returns.

ARG!!!!! That's why we were here all week! To deal with this stuff! That's why we changed our %&#@ plans!

The calm person (that would be John) suggested we stay here on Monday until we've seen our doctors for letters (not an exam) and photocopied our tax returns. Yes. Yes indeed we will. At that point, our SW will have left on her family vacation and our clearances still haven't come so nothing will happen for a week anyway, but I would really like not to have any more little surprises, any more "oh, there was one thing I forgot" messages.

I have tried not to post this kind of stuff here but it's definitely part of the process.

Steaming.